Telehealth Login

|

The Twelve-Step Program: Step Eight

man practicing step eight of the 12 step program

STEP EIGHT

“Make a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”

Have you ever seen the television sitcom My Name is Earl? In this show, the main character, Earl, decides that he is going to turn his life around. After years of bad behavior, selfishness, and greed, he decides that he is going to be a better person and start putting some good into the world instead. He creates a long list of people that he believes he has harmed over the years with his poor behavior, writes down a corresponding description of how he wronged each person on the list, and seeks each one out to try and make things right with them. Although Earl is not formally working a twelve-step program, the premise of the show does a nice job of capturing the principles of steps eight and nine.

Step nine, perhaps the most well-known step, has to do with the act of making amends. This is the step that much of My Name is Earl depicts on screen. Step eight, however, is essential in setting us up for step nine. If we rush into step nine before thoroughly completing step eight, we put the cart in front of the horse. To complete step eight, we must engage in thoughtful and intentional self-reflection, writing down how our behaviors have harmed others. Without step eight, there is no step nine. Without Earl’s list, there is no show. We must make the list.

People in twelve-step programs often find that step eight can be one of the most challenging steps of the program. In steps one through seven, we are largely focused on ourselves. We reflected on how our lives are currently unmanageable, formed a personal definition of “higher power,” and took a personal moral inventory. We developed an understanding of how our addiction harmed ourselves. However, in step eight, we must begin to look at how our behavior with drugs and alcohol has harmed others.

In making this list, I’m sure there will be certain people that come to mind immediately. Perhaps you can remember exactly what you did and know that your actions hurt them. However, there will also be others where you are unsure of if you hurt them or not. Or, perhaps your actions unintentionally harmed them. For step eight, that does not matter. For anyone that you suspect you may have harmed, intentionally or not, include them on your list. People commonly included on these lists are husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, exes, parents, children, friends, and colleagues, among others.

A crucial part of step eight also has to do with resentments. There will be people on your list that you have harmed, but that you feel have also harmed you. You may not want to make amends or feel they don’t deserve amends. However, holding this resentment is like drinking poison hoping the other person will suffer. Work with a therapist, sponsor, or trusted individual to better understand these resentments and realize what amends must be made. Making amends with those particular people may be one of the most important aspects of your recovery process.

 

By Jonathan Fricke, MA

About the Author

Founder

VERIFY INSURANCE

Cortland Mathers-Suter

MSSA
Managing Partner

Cortland Mathers-Suter entered the treatment space after his own battle with addiction. He first worked as a peer mentor, before starting clinical work while completing his Masters of Science in social administration from Case Western Reserve University where he focused on policy and direct practice. Cortland moved to Colorado in 2015 to start his first addiction treatment program, AspenRidge Recovery. Under his tenure, AspenRidge Recovery became a two-location, nationally accredited organization. He has since spent the last two years researching and developing what is now Colorado Medication Assisted Recovery (CMAR).

According to Cortland, “Colorado Medication Assisted Recovery is the most important organization I have had the honor to help build. We’re offering a service that seeks to not only improve the lives of our patients but also evolve how we look at medication-assisted treatment in Colorado entirely. Most individuals receiving medication-assisted care only receive medication and urinalysis. Sure you can call that ‘treatment,’ but you can’t call that ‘recovery.’ Our model is about adding the missing recovery component, and thus affords an opportunity to achieve lasting change for each patient and the industry.”

Cortland and his treatment programs have received numerous honors. These include Colorado Business Magazine’s “GenXYZ” award, the 2020 “Titan 100” award, and his program AspenRidge Recovery was both a finalist for “Best Healthcare Company” and named in the “Company’s to Watch” by Colorado Business Magazine as well. He has been interviewed and quoted by numerous publications for his “addiction expertise”, including News Week, 5280 Magazine, the Denver Post, Elephant Journal, Colorado Biz Mag, and TheRecoverySource.org.

Tyler Whitman

Compliance/HR Administrator

Tyler is originally from Omaha, Nebraska. He worked in manufacturing administration for 18 years until he chose to pursue recovery from alcohol addiction, which led him to Chicago, Illinois. Since then, Tyler gained experience in retail, retail pharmacy, and healthcare as a vaccine coordinator for a local Colorado clinic. At the clinic, Tyler discovered that healthcare was the career change he had been looking for. His newfound passion for healthcare, combined with his lived experience with addiction, brought him to Colorado Medication Assisted Recovery as an Office Administrator.

In his free time, Tyler enjoys cooking, hiking, and skiing. He is currently pursuing a master’s degree in Health Services Administration from Regis University.

Simmeren Boanvala

BA
Outreach and Admissions Representative

Simmeren comes to CMAR after several years working admissions in inpatient psychiatry and addiction. A first-generation Colorado Native, Simmeren attended CU Boulder, where she earned a BA in psychology. Simmeren is currently completing her CAC III while working toward her master’s degree in marriage and family therapy.

According to Simmeren, “I joined CMAR because I believe in the quality and importance of the program whole-heartedly. My goal at CMAR is to guide each prospect who calls CMAR to find the best possible pathway to their recovery”. Simmeren currently lives in her hometown with her dog and cat.

Tyler Hale

Tyler Hale

Community Partnership Lead

Tyler Hale began his career in addiction treatment following a decades-long fight with his own substance abuse issues. Since achieving long-term recovery, Tyler has held various positions in direct care, client services, admissions and outreach departments at various addiction treatment organizations. From sober living program director to outreach director to admissions director at a drug and alcohol treatment program, Tyler consistently finds himself in leadership roles within the addiction treatment space.

Tyler is originally from Chicago, IL, where he graduated from Loyola University Chicago with a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology and Bioethics. Thereafter, Tyler built a successful career in the tech industry, before finding sobriety and a subsequent calling to help others. Tyler joined the team at CMAR because he believes in the efficacy of comprehensive and patient-centered outpatient treatment. In his free time Tyler enjoys camping, hiking and spending time with his newborn son.

Kirstin O’Carroll

MSW
Engagement and Relations Director

Kirstin O’Carroll started her career in addiction and mental health services 23 years ago after graduating with an MSW from The Oho State University. Hired directly from an internship program, she served as a case manager and vocational specialist on a community treatment team in Columbus, OH, working to help severely mentally ill adults remain at home and in a community setting. Within the same organization, she later transitioned to clinical assessment and crisis intervention services with children, adolescents, and adults. Through these experiences, she learned the importance of providing empathetic, high-quality care and the need to “start wherever the patient is” with regard to finding the best treatment & solutions for her patients.

After seven years, Kirstin made a career change to diagnostic sales and worked for several Fortune 500 companies as an acute care sales specialist. She is delighted to return “home” to her passion for helping others and believes her new role as community engagement coordinator for CMAR is the perfect alignment of both her clinical and sales skills. When not promoting CMAR, she can be found reading, running, hiking, watching movies, and spending time with her husband Dennis and senior canine son Reggie.

Thomas Mazzarella

LAC
Primary Therapist

Thomas is a Licensed Addiction Counselor (LAC) in the State of Colorado and a Licensed Addictions Specialist (LCAS) in the State of North Carolina with particular expertise in the treatment of chronic Substance Abuse Addiction and Dependency.

Thomas is dedicated to Individual, Couples, Family, and Group Counseling and Therapy for individuals with Substance Use and Mental Health issues and concerns.

James Jackman

CAS
Primary Therapist

James Jackman is a Certified Addiction Specialist and has been practicing addiction treatment in Colorado since 2015. James is pursuing his bachelor’s degree in psychology from Metropolitan State University Denver. James is a traditional CBT therapist specializing in childhood events that lead to adult addictions.

James has received special training in Family Systems, Inner Child, Maladaptive Schemas, and Adverse Childhood Experiences. James has worked in many treatment settings throughout his career and uses a client-centered treatment approach to help one recover from destructive patterns that facilitate addiction. In addition, James enjoys working with rescue animals and advocates for several local rescue organizations outside of work.

Outside of the office, Megan enjoys spending time with her two German Shepherds and her cat. She is passionate about fostering animals through various local rescues to find adoptive homes for dogs and cats in need.

Megan Hanekom

LPC, LAC, NCC
Therapist & Clinical Compliance Officer

Megan is a licensed counselor who has worked in various mental health and addiction treatment environments. She practices cognitive behavioral therapy and motivational interviewing and believes in pulling from various therapeutic approaches to best support each individual. Megan received her bachelor’s in psychology and Spanish from Concordia College. She relocated from North Dakota to Colorado where she earned a master’s in counseling psychology from the University of Denver.

Outside of the office, Megan enjoys spending time with her two German Shepherds and her cat. She is passionate about fostering animals through various local rescues to find adoptive homes for dogs and cats in need.

Maggie Coyle

MA, LPC
Primary Therapist

Maggie Coyle, MS, MA, LPP, LPCC has worked in the mental health and addictions counseling field for the past six years. She has extensive experience in working in the varying levels of mental health and addictions treatment as well as with diverse populations.

She practices cognitive-behavioral therapy and dialectical behavior therapy as primary intervention methods. She has earned a bachelor’s degree in sociology as well as a master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling both from Northern State University in Aberdeen, SD. She has also earned a master’s degree in addictions counseling from the University of South Dakota in Vermillion, SD. Maggie moved from South Dakota to Colorado in June 2020 and is excited to be a part of the CMAR team.

Michael Damioli

LCSW, CSAT
Clinical Director

Michael Damioli has been passionately working in the fields of addiction treatment and mental health since 2012. He has held a variety of different roles within the addiction recovery space, ranging from peer support to direct clinical practice. Notably, Michael was part of a leadership group that developed a small therapy practice into a nationally branded addiction treatment program, which offers multiple levels of care to recovering professionals. Michael is a strong believer in the family disease model of addiction and has focused much of his clinical work and training on supporting families impacted by addiction. He also specializes in treating individuals suffering from co-occurring chemical and process addictions.

Michael is honored to be leading the clinical care team at CMAR and believes that excellent clinical care begins by simply treating a patient with dignity and respect. Michael is a strong advocate for ethical reform within the addiction treatment field and is excited to promote CMAR as an ethical and thought leader throughout the treatment & recovery industry. Michael earned his master’s degree in social work from the University of Denver and is independently licensed as a clinical social worker with the state of Colorado. He holds an advanced post-graduate certificate in marriage and family therapy from the Denver Family Institute as well as an advanced certificate in sexual addiction counseling from the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals.

Dwight-Duncan

Dwight Duncan

Psy.D
Psychologist

Dr. Duncan was born and spent most of his early life in California. He received his doctorate in clinical psychology from the University of Denver in 1987. He is a licensed psychologist as well as a licensed addiction counselor. He has had extensive training and experience throughout his professional career in medical psychology, mindfulness, integrated behavioral healthcare, and substance abuse.

Dr. Duncan is married and has one daughter, a neurologic physical therapist in Los Angeles.

Susan-Miget

Susan Miget

NP
Medical Provider

Susan has been in healthcare for more than 20 years. She was an ICU nurse for nine years, then returned to school and completed her master of nursing and family nurse practitioner degree at the University of Missouri-St. Louis in 2007. She practiced pain management for many years before developing her current passion for addiction treatment.

Susan has transitioned her practice to focus entirely on addiction treatment. She has worked in residential treatment, partial hospitalization (PHP), and intensive outpatient (IOP) programs. Susan most enjoys working with patients one-on-one in a private office to protect their confidentiality and ensure top-rate care. Knowing that addiction can affect anyone, anywhere, and at any time, Susan continues to strive to make treatment more accessible and confidential.

Whitney-Grant

Whitney Grant

MSN, FNP-BC, ARNP, RN, CPN
Medical Provider

Whitney Grant is an experienced family nurse practitioner with experience and expertise in medication-assisted treatment. Whitney earned her BSN at the University of Miami before moving on to achieve a master of science in nursing degree there as well, becoming a nurse practitioner immediately thereafter.

Whitney has since achieved board certification from the ANCC as a family nurse practitioner. After spending her entire formative and educational years in South Florida, Whitney moved to Denver in 2018 to pursue a career as a provider in family practice, sub-specializing in addictions medicine. Whitney has worked under the guidance of Dr. Nathaniel Moore, CMAR’s medical director, since moving to Denver.

Nathaniel Moore

MD
Medical Director

Dr. Nathan Moore is board-certified by the American Board of Family Medicine. Dr. Moore attended Stanford University in Palo Alto, CA for his undergraduate work and then attended Duke University School of Medicine and obtained his M.D. in 1995. Dr. Moore then came to Colorado and completed his residency in family medicine at the University of Colorado’s Family Medicine Program at Rose Medical Center.

Dr. Moore practices primarily at our Aurora location. He provides comprehensive family medicine services and has a special interest in addiction medicine, treating patients with opioid use disorder as well as alcohol addiction.

Dr. Moore is married with three children. He enjoys mountain biking, running, and golf.